Perspective, alway developing it.

Perspective. We each have our own, right? We each can look a picture of a landscape and see it differently. Can you picture in your mind what a desert in Nevada might look like. Late afternoon sun, no trees, just sand, cacti, mountains in the distance and maybe a vulture circling in the sky. One person may look at it from their perspective and say "This place is depressing. No water for my thirst. No shade to relax in. No place to go shopping and buy a new phone, mine is like 3  years old!" And another might have a different perspective of, "Finally, I am far enough away that no one can bug me on my cellphone. I can warm up in the sun. Hey, those mountains look awesome."

It's all in the eye of the beholder... just like beauty is said to be as well.

Our little family moved recently, as you know. We did, in fact, move to an apartment that is smaller than our last one. By only 300 sq. ft.  I am honestly fine with the smaller apartment. I feel as though we needed to look at all our stuff, really look at it, to see what we actually use. And donate or toss the rest.  It is a long process. At least I have time to do that these days.

When I was first tell people that the new place is smaller than that of our last, I felt like they were waiting for me to be upset about the size difference. I have a feeling that might be because so many of us grew up not only having plenty of what we need but also living in a country with the current culture pushing the importance of more of the new shiny things, bigger places to live, pricier clothes and accessories. By the standards in the States, I have never been rich, so maybe I don't know what I am missing. But my perspective is different.

A family of four sleep here. The father in one bed, the mother and children in the other.

I have been blessed with a perspective that keeps developing a greater understanding of the world as a whole. I got a chance to see how some folks in Nicaragua live. Some do live in nice homes, not too much different that we might find here in the states. But there are many who live in what best can be described a tin shack about the size of a storage shed I one had in my back yard in NY. And not just one person living there but a whole family of four. No air conditioning or windows in a part of the world where it is often in the 90's (Fahrenheit) with humidity and dew point near that as well.

That is not anywhere close to my current living conditions. I am honestly just thankful we found affordable housing in an area where my child can go to a great school. That is just my perspective on the situation.


 It would be very wrong of me not to admit that I have struggled with my perspective on different issues during different times of my life. I have, sometime greatly struggled with my perspective. Most days I am generally an enthusiastic optimist.  It can be quite I annoying I bet. Like for a real life example a friend of mine was sharing with me how it seems like one crummy thing is happening after another and she is concerned about what might be coming next. It is like she is living in a storm (now this is seriously my own take on what is going on in her life) on the ocean in a boat that keeps getting pommeled by waves. She is just trying to prepare herself for the next wave to hit. I am am praying for her and the waves in her life. But this is how my optimism can be a bit annoying: Friend: I just keep wondering what will happen next. Me: Maybe a pay raise or free ice cream on Fridays? Friend: You are probably  a bit to optimistic.

 She is probably right. I am a bit too optimistic. There have been days in my past thought that I think that I wasn't and missed out on the good that was right in front of me. I have always had a family that loves me (even when my optimism is over the top!), I have been graced with good health, safe and clean places to
live, chance to grow and learn (in formal and informal settings). I have cleaning drinking water, clean clothes, I get to take a shower whenever I feel I need one, even with nice smelling soap! I have been blessed a loving husband and a healthy child.  Even with all that I have times or days that I do feel like waves are hitting me over and over, causing me to wonder what is next and how am I going to handle it. And I get stuck looking of a wave that is bound to crash over me instead of noticing I don't have to be in the storm alone. It don't like feeling stuck like that. When I realize that it is me that is the grouchy funk, I do what I can to get out of it. Often I ask dear friends of mine to pray from me and to chat with me.  It is easier to get out of a funk when there are others willing to help lift you up and help you find something that is good going on in your life. Usually that is something to be thankful.

It can be a challenge to have a positive perspective but I want that for my reality. Hope it doesn't drive everyone else crazy!

Busy and Thankful

Life has felt busy and a bit overwhelming with all that goes with moving, husband starting a new call (like a new job or a transfer of sorts), and getting details taken care for company this weekend (and peeking at a few possible jobs). I still have boxes to unpack and things to organize. It will be close enough to done when company arrives, and they know we just moved. I am sure things will be fine.

Had a some wonderful moments this evening that really warmed my heart. The first was listening to our daughter play with her daddy (my wonderful husband) and the crazy laughter coming from their play. And the other moment was when She asked her daddy to read her a story, with using voices. He did well with the voices. Apparently better than I do with voices!

 Tonight, I am thankful that my daughter has such a loving daddy. 

New Place, New Routine

Moving is weird.

Wednesday we moved everything out of our place in Nebraska, with wonderful helpers. We moved in to our new place on Friday, with some wonderful helpers here in Tennessee.  It's wild how fast it all went. 

We have been working on making this new place our home... one box at a time. Our cat seems to have settled in, finding all his favorite nap places as we remove boxes. He, just like our daughter, seems to be most happy with things when there is a schedule going on around our place. The cat, named Squirrel, has been a part of bedtime stories and prayers for years. Once we start reading with our daughter, Squirrel wonders in, at his own pace, and finds his place at the foot of her bed. The routine helps him to stay calm in the new place.

Moving feels odd this time. I am not feeling stressed about the move. Some of the details, like getting someone registered for school and preparing for company in a few weeks (or less), sure stresses me a bit. I can't it into words, this move is different from the others. I think that it is at least a good sort of different. Even though I still have to find "my place" in a new city and congregation, I feel like there is a place for me. And that does feel nice. Now I just wait for God to show it to me. 

Maybe I should be like the cat and get a routine going for me. Maybe I will find a routine, after the boxes are unpacked, after the books are all on the shelves and the dishes in the cupboard. After school has started for our kiddo, after my husband has been officially installed and officially starts his new position,  and after company has come and gone, I will find a routine. The routine will help make the new place home.

Until then, I will be embracing the chaos and find ways to make each day orderly and as much of a routine as possible.  

Transition time

Since I have last posted, I have: traveled to Wisconsin to see some family; traveled to Tennessee to visit a congregation that issued him a call; had an awesome visit from a dear friend from Colorado; drove to St. Louis; went to National youth gathering in Texas with about 30,000 other folks; drove to southern Ohio to see family there; husband accepted the call to the Tennessee congregation; and my grandmother turn 90 years old! Tomorrow we we load a moving truck and Thursday we start drive from Nebraska to Tennessee. It has been a good and overwhelming summer!

Two days ago was our last Sunday at the congregation in Nebraska. The congregation gave us a very kind send off. I have been reading the cards they gave us with very kind notes and I feel bad that there are some that I cannot picture who the people are that wrote such lovely notes! This congregation worships about 2,000 people in a weekend, so in my defense, that is a lot of people to learn names for. The members I do know, have been wonderful to us. I am going to miss seeing them every week.  

During the last morning everyone asked the same questions. Here are some of my answers:

~Things are mostly packed. Anyone is welcome to help us load the truck.
~The congregation in Tennessee worships about 120 on a Sunday. I am looking forward to learning everyone's name!
~Kiddo starts school August 2nd.
~Columbia is about 33,000 people.
~I am sad to say good bye to the folks in Nebraska but looking forward to making new friends in Tennessee.
~The closest Target and Starbucks are in the next town, about 15 mins away.
~Kiddo will be going to public school. We are sure she will do well, though she says she will miss having "Jesus time" at school. We will continue "Jesus time" at home.
~We do have a place to live in Tennessee.
~ I will be waiting until I get my family settled before I figure out what to do with my time.

That is the tricky part, figuring out what am I going to be doing. Of course I will unpack, help prepare my daughter to start school next, and do all I can to make our new place feel like home for us. And then I will think of finding a part time job. One that allows me to have the same days off as my daughter does from school and that it is not stressful to take time off for PLI (a program for pastors and their wives that is educational and has very supportive people who encourage us), and maybe even a family vacation.  I am feeling that that is a high maintenance request of just about any job. It is not a overly stressful thing to find a job, other than it is nice to know that I am helping my family so it easier do some of our favorite past times, like traveling or make it more possible to visit family.  Good thing I know that I can trust God and he will provide for my family.

Thank you for any prayers for my family during this move and for the two congregations impacted, may God guide and bless them.

Stress. Who doesn't have any stress? 

For some reason I get the feeling that spiritual people aren't supposed to be stressed. That they are supposed to always be level headed and calm in all situations, trusting God for all things.

I do feel stressed at times. And I am well aware of Bible verses that are often shared in hopes to help people to not be stressed: Be Still and know that I am God... Psalm 46:10; For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11; But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Matthew 6:30. All good verses and though they have been in my mind, it is not decreasing my indigestion. 

I am not stress about material possessions, nor do I have the feeling that I have to control or manage everything. I think my my concern might relate the the Jeremiah passage that I shared. I am fine with whatever plans God has for our family, I just would like to know what that plan is. 

If may help you to know that we have been considering different 'calls' (if you are not LCMS and not sure what I mean by 'call', it's like a job offer to a pastor, for our situation, that the congregation feels God has lead them to a certain man to be their pastor. Then the pastor has to determine if he feels God is calling him to serve at that congregation.)  Since I have last posted (it has been a bit) my husband has received a total of three calls. He has currently turned down two of them and is still considering a third. This weekend we will visit the congregation and pray that God gives us many good clear signs on whether or not we are a fit for the congregation and if they are a fit for us. 

The part that is stressful  is the work that I know that I will possibly need to do at some point. It feels like a looming mountain that will be moved on top of me and I am just waiting for it. All the packing and organizing that goes with moving plus the decision itself bears down on my family. I like to have a head start on packing, so it is not stressful and as much of a crazy whirlwind when the possible moving day arrives. But on the other side, if I start gearing up for moving and we decide that God is not leading us to make this move, then I have to unpack, why do all the work to just undo it?  And then if there is another call, again.... Let's not go there. I will just deal with it if/when it happens.

The root of this stress for me is about being a good wife and mother. I seem to think the more I can do, the less stressful it is for my family. There is probably some truth to it. But if I am so stressed out about it all that I am making myself ill, what good am I? Then here is what I do next, this is crazy, ready for it?? I stress out about being ill. And I am sure you can guess, it only makes me feel worse.    These stresses are self imposed. I know it. It is challenging to get out of the cycle of stress and being stressed about the stress. It is a silly cycle and a sticky one.

The verses I shared earlier are good ones, even for where I am today.  Though, I have found these verses most encouraging to me in the past so today I focus on it again today:
 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

Not being anxious is easier said than done. But by the Grace of God, it can happen. I am trusting God for whatever comes next, whether we move or not. And may He give me the strength to get all that I need to done to care for my family and His peace through it all. I am thankful for God's love, grace and peace, I would be total mess without it! 

   This tortoise doesn't seem to be stressed, though does carry his home with him... 

Ideas, Zumba, Bible, Prayer.


I get these great ideas, as I am sure you do also, but it is when I can not act on them. And when I can act on them, I forget what the idea was or end up doing something else that is not nearly as exciting.

Two weeks ago, I had what I thought was a good idea for a blog. I shared the idea with some of my friends and they seemed to think that it was at least an acceptable idea. Two weeks ago. I didn't blog then because I was out of town without my computer (how crazy of me, right?). Once I got home, there were other things to do. You know how that goes?

I am blogging tonight. That counts. And hey, this is at least on the topic of what I wanted to share before.... things I sometimes fail at. Like failing to act on a good idea. Or, which is often my struggle, staying consistent with a goal.

Before I get into personal nitty gritty stuff, I want to share a story about Zumba.

If you are not aware, Zumba is an exercise activity that it like aerobics meets some form of Latin dance. People buy videos and Wii games to do this exercise at home. I like going to my local YMCA and being part of a class. A few years ago (and in a different state) I was in my Zumba class and somehow I trip over my own two feet. During a warm up song. I was not hurt and did fine the rest of the class, physically. Emotionally I was horrified that I had fallen and that so many people had noticed me fall. They asked when it happened if I was okay, seemed to watching out for me during class and checked on me again after class. They were nice about it and very caring ladies but I didn't want them to see me fall. I wanted them to think that I was super and could do the class with few struggles.

Life in a congregation can be like Zumba class. It's great to be with a group of nice folks doing the steps we know we should be doing. If you are anything like me, you do not want it always be public knowledge when things get hard or when you fall. But, also like my Zumba class, there are nice people who want to be encouraging and helpful.

This next step may not seem like a big deal to you, but it is a huge deal to me. I want to share with you what I am currently lousy at, and I pray that you not judge me harshly for my confession. I am hoping by sharing an imperfect part of me that it will not only help me to get back up and start fresh, but maybe encourage others to start anew as well.

Here is my downfall: I am not consistent on reading my Bible daily.

Some may say that is not a big deal, but to me it is. I go through spurts of reading it. I did it for a few days after my last trip. But I have not read it yet today.

I have a plan for my struggle. I want to read a passage everyday intentionally, not just from someone's facebook post (even though those are nice to see) and then spend time in prayer. Prayer is something that I am more content with doing than Bible reading. Why am I like that? Who knows? Just am.  We all have our comfort zones, right?

So tonight, after I post this and catch up with my wonderful husband, I am going to go read my Bible. Then I will get to spend time in prayer. I hope to let you know in a few days how I am doing about staying on track with this goal... hopefully if I don't post anything on this blog it will mean I a busy doing things that are important like caring for my family or spending time in the Word (Bible).  If there is anything I could pray about for you, let me know. I would be happy to do so.

Friends are great blessings.

An honest to goodness friend can be hard to find. That is a struggle for anybody, right? Who is trustful and honest and who isn't sharing your personal life stories with others? Don't we all need someone we can laugh with, confide in, and can encourage us? 

Yes, Jesus in my friend. I hope He finds me funny at times and laughs with me. I know that my prayers are conversations between just the two of us. (Well, meaning the Trinity and myself.) I know that the Bible is full of wonderful encouragement for all believers.  I also really appreciate the friends that I can see and hear clearly. I appreciate their kind laugh at my attempts to be funny and the encouraging words and prayers. There is great value and wonderful strength in these friendships.

I love the friend that when I am having a difficult time with something pushes me to see the whole situation from another angle. I know I very easily get caught up with my own view and emotions in situations. I often forget to step back and take a moment to see the whole picture and consider different perspectives. Having a good friend to talk to that you can trust is priceless. Finding great friends like that is an act of God. 

I really mean that. Finding a trustworthy friend is an act of God. Think about it. We are all sinners. We all screw up. I know I have messed a few times with being the great friend I really would like to be to my friends. I know I often get too focused on my own life and not always really hear what is going on in my friend's life.  Some days it is just amazing to me that I do actually have real friends, in real life, not just my facebook 'friends'. 

 I think of how I have met my close friends and none of it seems like it was just thrown together and just sort of happened. Take, for example, when I met my husband (my best friend who loves even though I am not perfect!). It was the summer of 2001 at the National Youth Gathering in New Orleans. It was a trip that I was an alternate for and so was my husband for different groups. He lived in Michigan and I lived in Colorado and we met in New Orleans in a convention center at a gathering of about 30,000 people. I was there with some people that he knew and so we met when he was looking to say 'hi' to some of his friends. I really have a hard time seeing all that and saying that we met by chance. I really believe that it was part of a bigger plan.

I never know what is next in this life, but I am thankful that God has encouraged us to be together in His name (Matthew 18:20).  Everyone faces struggles in life. Leaning on and trusting in God and His plans, though it can be difficult to do, is what works best in the end. Leaning on friends who will pray for you, being encouraged and being able to encourage others is an amazing blessing.