Pointer vs. Painter

It was brought to my attention that I did not discuss an another interesting part of the recent wellness retreat for pastors and wives. It's about how we communicate; as a painter or as a pointer.  It relates to more than just how people communicate in a marriage, even though that was more of the focus since we were all married folks.

Disclaimer:  It depends on where you are and the situation.

From a trail in TN, nice picture to paint sometime...

So a painter, is a person who likes to give all the details of a picture, and often times doesn't have a point or know what the point is when they start talking.  A pointer is a person, does just that, they get to the point. The point is often the first thing out of their mouth.

If you haven't guessed, I am more often a painter. It might be why I can blog about randomness and feel better for it. Yes, I try to have a point for the blog at hand, but it usually takes be a bit to get there. I have been known to be a pointer, mainly in school or some work situations where I have a task and I want it to be done well and quickly. I know, a tad demanding, but life can be that way.

A classroom worm being a "pointer".  (TN)

My husband  tends to be a more of a pointer. Sure, he can paint a wonderful picture with his words, but he picks his words a lot more carefully and has a point with a plan on how to get there.  Keeps life interesting around here.

Neither style of communicating is "better" than the other. Just different.

What's new? I am different than my husband. I think that is a very good thing. I am sure that I drive him nuts at time with my random chatter or thoughts, but they make sense to me. Early on in the marriage I remember getting responses from him like "Now what are you talking about? You lost me." 

Either style can unintentionally hurt the others feelings. I know we down play feelings, but they are part of what we carry around with us each day. I am hoping that by knowing that a pointer thinks the point is the first thing out of my mouth, like it is with them, I will try to make my words encouraging.

Nice to take time to observe all sort of things in life. (TN)

Hey! So I am wondering if anyone who read the last blog that I posted, if you look at yourself in the mirror and said "I am a baptized child of God. Who am I going to blessed today?"  Honestly, I haven't.  Well, I have said "I am a baptized child of God." But I have not asked or even thought about the "who am I going to bless today'" part.

Fail. Well, there is tomorrow.

And there is grace for us today. That is something to be thankful for!

Ramble and Retreat Reminiscing

Writing in this blog has been on my mind, at least a few times a week. Every week. If it was the thought that really count in this world, I'd being doing great, right? The challenge is in the timing. I sometimes get what seems like interesting ideas, unfortunately I am in the middle of something, like driving, and it is not a good time to try to write. And then when I get the time to write, I forget what it was going to be about or how it was interesting and not just me rambling.

Rambling can be interesting, at times, right?

Last week, my husband and I went to a "Wellness" retreat. Overall, it was a very good time. They gave us lots of info on 'wellness'. It was a bigger picture than just "eat right and make sure you work out", and I appreciated it. The part that I liked the most that they presented everything through the lens of "Old Self" and "New Self". The "old self" is our natural state, sinful and self centered nature; while the "new self" is who we are as a baptized child of God, the focus is not on the self but on a bigger picture, the body of Christ.  I really liked that it was built out from each of us being " In baptism- A new creation in Christ".

Having the starting point of us understanding the "new self" (honestly, not a new concept to a group of pastors and their wives but nice to review that thought) and then using it when thinking on our lives: past, present and future.  For the past, we can remember some hard times in our lives and were encouraged in those times now because Jesus was there with us. We are not alone in our bad days or heart broken moments, Christ was there. Just like He is with you today and will be there with you tomorrow.

In the present, we were encouraged to start each day by looking in the mirror and telling ourselves (with a huge smile on your face and seriously mean this:) "I am a baptized child of God! Who am I going to blessed today?"    Not new to trying to be mindful of baptism.... honestly do not think about it each morning, but I know that I should.  Have to say though, the second part of the quote "Who am I going to bless today?", I felt was self righteous. So I asked others about it. If the question is posed with the attitude of the "new self" then it is more about being open to God working through you to bless others for the benefit of the kingdom as a whole.  I have not said "Who am I going to bless today?" in the mirror, yet. Maybe I will give it a try tomorrow.

"New self" for the future. Not really for all that far in the future, but really for future challenges. So first, I want to share how the "old self" would face a challenge. Someone viewing a situation from the view point of the "old self" would feel anxious about it and say something like "Well, look what I have to deal with now."  When the "new self" is in play, challenges can still seem big, but more about curiosity for the "new self" and would likely say "How are we going to handle this?" We are not alone, so why try to take on challenges alone when we can work together.  I like teams, they are a happy thing.

The best part of the whole thing was getting to spend time with some other wonderful couples and time to pray together. Prayer is something that is very powerful. And having trusted friends praying for you... well it always brings me to tears. (The good kind.)  Looking forward to seeing them again.

I am a baptized child of God. For which I am very thankful.

Friends are great blessings.

An honest to goodness friend can be hard to find. That is a struggle for anybody, right? Who is trustful and honest and who isn't sharing your personal life stories with others? Don't we all need someone we can laugh with, confide in, and can encourage us? 

Yes, Jesus in my friend. I hope He finds me funny at times and laughs with me. I know that my prayers are conversations between just the two of us. (Well, meaning the Trinity and myself.) I know that the Bible is full of wonderful encouragement for all believers.  I also really appreciate the friends that I can see and hear clearly. I appreciate their kind laugh at my attempts to be funny and the encouraging words and prayers. There is great value and wonderful strength in these friendships.

I love the friend that when I am having a difficult time with something pushes me to see the whole situation from another angle. I know I very easily get caught up with my own view and emotions in situations. I often forget to step back and take a moment to see the whole picture and consider different perspectives. Having a good friend to talk to that you can trust is priceless. Finding great friends like that is an act of God. 

I really mean that. Finding a trustworthy friend is an act of God. Think about it. We are all sinners. We all screw up. I know I have messed a few times with being the great friend I really would like to be to my friends. I know I often get too focused on my own life and not always really hear what is going on in my friend's life.  Some days it is just amazing to me that I do actually have real friends, in real life, not just my facebook 'friends'. 

 I think of how I have met my close friends and none of it seems like it was just thrown together and just sort of happened. Take, for example, when I met my husband (my best friend who loves even though I am not perfect!). It was the summer of 2001 at the National Youth Gathering in New Orleans. It was a trip that I was an alternate for and so was my husband for different groups. He lived in Michigan and I lived in Colorado and we met in New Orleans in a convention center at a gathering of about 30,000 people. I was there with some people that he knew and so we met when he was looking to say 'hi' to some of his friends. I really have a hard time seeing all that and saying that we met by chance. I really believe that it was part of a bigger plan.

I never know what is next in this life, but I am thankful that God has encouraged us to be together in His name (Matthew 18:20).  Everyone faces struggles in life. Leaning on and trusting in God and His plans, though it can be difficult to do, is what works best in the end. Leaning on friends who will pray for you, being encouraged and being able to encourage others is an amazing blessing.