A tired mom.

I do not feel like 'blogging'. I am tired, I am drained, I feel blue. I do not feel like having deep thoughts about life. I am more inclined to turn the TV on and slowly tidy things up, so less is waiting for me in the morning. 

Today I rather talk about being a full-time mom/homemaker/whatever else fits here, because that is what I am. A mom. I understand that this position is a choice, just like being a work outside the home parent and having daycare. Neither is better than the other. That is not what this is about. This is more about how today, or the last few days really, my role has been challenging. Everyone has challenges, right? Even if you are not a parent, there are challenging days in your life.

I am an extrovert, meaning I feel more energized after spending time with people. I can energize with quiet time, alone, but it is not the same. Being home full-time means that I have to be intentional about looking for ways to spend with people big enough to talk. And I really prefer to do it outside of our home. I am there all day and I see the chores or projects that need to be done. Given the option, I rather go out of these walls. If the day is nice, please let me meet people outside!

These last few days have been challenging because our youngest has not been feeling great so we have needed to be home as much as possible. And we have been, except to go to the doctor or get medicine. Having a young sick child that cannot say "hey, this hurts" or "I am uncomfortable here" rather they just scream is draining to any caring adult. So' how I feel makes sense, right? Others have been here, I know they have. And have made it through. Things are getting better for out little one today. For that I am thankful.

Life is going on wit plenty to do and I have chosen to write/blog. I am doing this because it is the evening that I have said I would do it. I am working on starting a pattern. Life has a lot of patterns. Bet everyone has a pattern or a routine in which they get ready, do chores, pay bills, pack for a trip. Adding something to a pattern or routine can be a challenge. There will be times when it is easy to say "Well, I don't have to do that." or "I am too tired". But the problem is that when you are trying to set a new pattern and you stop doing it, starting it back up is even more difficult.

There are plenty of patterns in the Bible. One that easily comes to mind is having a day of rest. (Ha! As a mom of a young child, there is not a day I would describe as that! It might happen in a few years.) God created for the first six days then on the seventh he rested and it was good. That doesn't mean He never worked again. He rested and then the Bible talks about other days and ways God worked throughout the whole Bible. Setting and having a pattern of working and resting sounds great. But how many of us do it? What can it look like? Will it always happen when, where and how we want it to?

I missed worship time this week because of our little one's illness. (A understandable reason.) My weekly pattern is thrown off and I feel it. I need worship time, just as much as I need rest time, work time, workout time and lunch time.  So I am going to keep the pattern and write tonight, even if I do not feel like it. The pattern may be good for me.  If nothing else, typing is a bit like talking, I can ramble in either medium.

Blessings!

Ideas, Zumba, Bible, Prayer.


I get these great ideas, as I am sure you do also, but it is when I can not act on them. And when I can act on them, I forget what the idea was or end up doing something else that is not nearly as exciting.

Two weeks ago, I had what I thought was a good idea for a blog. I shared the idea with some of my friends and they seemed to think that it was at least an acceptable idea. Two weeks ago. I didn't blog then because I was out of town without my computer (how crazy of me, right?). Once I got home, there were other things to do. You know how that goes?

I am blogging tonight. That counts. And hey, this is at least on the topic of what I wanted to share before.... things I sometimes fail at. Like failing to act on a good idea. Or, which is often my struggle, staying consistent with a goal.

Before I get into personal nitty gritty stuff, I want to share a story about Zumba.

If you are not aware, Zumba is an exercise activity that it like aerobics meets some form of Latin dance. People buy videos and Wii games to do this exercise at home. I like going to my local YMCA and being part of a class. A few years ago (and in a different state) I was in my Zumba class and somehow I trip over my own two feet. During a warm up song. I was not hurt and did fine the rest of the class, physically. Emotionally I was horrified that I had fallen and that so many people had noticed me fall. They asked when it happened if I was okay, seemed to watching out for me during class and checked on me again after class. They were nice about it and very caring ladies but I didn't want them to see me fall. I wanted them to think that I was super and could do the class with few struggles.

Life in a congregation can be like Zumba class. It's great to be with a group of nice folks doing the steps we know we should be doing. If you are anything like me, you do not want it always be public knowledge when things get hard or when you fall. But, also like my Zumba class, there are nice people who want to be encouraging and helpful.

This next step may not seem like a big deal to you, but it is a huge deal to me. I want to share with you what I am currently lousy at, and I pray that you not judge me harshly for my confession. I am hoping by sharing an imperfect part of me that it will not only help me to get back up and start fresh, but maybe encourage others to start anew as well.

Here is my downfall: I am not consistent on reading my Bible daily.

Some may say that is not a big deal, but to me it is. I go through spurts of reading it. I did it for a few days after my last trip. But I have not read it yet today.

I have a plan for my struggle. I want to read a passage everyday intentionally, not just from someone's facebook post (even though those are nice to see) and then spend time in prayer. Prayer is something that I am more content with doing than Bible reading. Why am I like that? Who knows? Just am.  We all have our comfort zones, right?

So tonight, after I post this and catch up with my wonderful husband, I am going to go read my Bible. Then I will get to spend time in prayer. I hope to let you know in a few days how I am doing about staying on track with this goal... hopefully if I don't post anything on this blog it will mean I a busy doing things that are important like caring for my family or spending time in the Word (Bible).  If there is anything I could pray about for you, let me know. I would be happy to do so.