I keep getting comment about how neat it is that I married a pastor. And I must say, yes I think that my husband is a neat guy and blessed to get to use his gifts to serve God and the Church (aka the body of Christ). Yes, I would agree that the office of the ministry is pretty special too. And I am blessed to have the husband I have, for many more reasons than his role in the body of Christ.
I have to be honest, I do think that I am some what of a neat person (I would have to, to be able to blog about myself and thoughts) BUT I do not think that I am any more neat, or interesting or important than anyone else in this world.
We are each God's favorites.
I bet that each person who reads this (mostly likely just folks that I know, so I know this is true) have very wonderful qualities that they (or you, really) can use for serving God and others. And you may not even "work" a paid job in a church building.
Ever said or sent an encouraging word to another person? That is a wonderful gift ad serving God. Or held a door open for the next person. Yep, that is a gift.
Some have told me that I down play my role in a church... I might go with I like to point out that I am a sinner and that I need grace and love just like the next person.
I think that I am concerned about people that might try to place unrealistic expectations on me because I am married to a pastor (who is human too!). I have disappointed folks in the past and have seen the hurt in their eyes that I couldn't do anything to change. I have to be me, the way God made me. And I am learning and growing each day.
Learning can be quite messy.
Good thing that we are God's favorites (each person in the world is his favorite that person, in my understanding) and He loves us so much, ...not just enough, the Bible says "so much", that He gave just the gift of his presence in Jesus and hope that we have because all of the work Jesus did for us.
I just hope folks can forgive me when I am human and make mistakes. I will make them, I always do.
Have a good one, God's favorite you! ;-)
Showing posts with label Pastor Wife. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pastor Wife. Show all posts
Thursday, December 12, 2013
Monday, November 18, 2013
Random Thought : Married people secret languages
Random thought: it be neat if each husband and wife had their own language, one just the two of them understood and no one else.
Sure, sometimes we can read the body language of the other but to be able to have a private conversation in any situation at any time.
When I was a kid, one of my friends parents spoke English as their second language. It was interesting one day at her house when I heard them speaking and realized I didn't understand what they were saying. I asked her if she knew and she said no. I am very sure that it was none of my business (I was just a curious child, and, hey, I am still a curious person). It must have been nice for them to share what was on their minds freely.
I think that it would be useful quite often. Like when buying a car, I find that the sales people generally do not leave the two of you alone to really talk things over. So, my husband and I enter the lot with a general understanding of what we are looking for and that is helpful. But how neat would it be if in the middle of our visit to the dealership we could converse with each other in a language that no one else would ever understand?
On the other hand, however, I think that there is a lot of value of children hearing their parents discussing something and working out an understand or agreement between the two of them. Children benefit from knowing that parents can disagree, work through things and still love each other in the end. And if husband and wife used their secret language too often, children would not see an example of conflict management.
Oh well. Just a random thought. No real point, other that it is something that popped in my brain tonight. But hey, I am a "painter", so this is the way I am.
Sure, sometimes we can read the body language of the other but to be able to have a private conversation in any situation at any time.
When I was a kid, one of my friends parents spoke English as their second language. It was interesting one day at her house when I heard them speaking and realized I didn't understand what they were saying. I asked her if she knew and she said no. I am very sure that it was none of my business (I was just a curious child, and, hey, I am still a curious person). It must have been nice for them to share what was on their minds freely.
I think that it would be useful quite often. Like when buying a car, I find that the sales people generally do not leave the two of you alone to really talk things over. So, my husband and I enter the lot with a general understanding of what we are looking for and that is helpful. But how neat would it be if in the middle of our visit to the dealership we could converse with each other in a language that no one else would ever understand?
On the other hand, however, I think that there is a lot of value of children hearing their parents discussing something and working out an understand or agreement between the two of them. Children benefit from knowing that parents can disagree, work through things and still love each other in the end. And if husband and wife used their secret language too often, children would not see an example of conflict management.
Oh well. Just a random thought. No real point, other that it is something that popped in my brain tonight. But hey, I am a "painter", so this is the way I am.
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Pointer vs. Painter
It was brought to my attention that I did not discuss an another interesting part of the recent wellness retreat for pastors and wives. It's about how we communicate; as a painter or as a pointer. It relates to more than just how people communicate in a marriage, even though that was more of the focus since we were all married folks.
Disclaimer: It depends on where you are and the situation.
So a painter, is a person who likes to give all the details of a picture, and often times doesn't have a point or know what the point is when they start talking. A pointer is a person, does just that, they get to the point. The point is often the first thing out of their mouth.
If you haven't guessed, I am more often a painter. It might be why I can blog about randomness and feel better for it. Yes, I try to have a point for the blog at hand, but it usually takes be a bit to get there. I have been known to be a pointer, mainly in school or some work situations where I have a task and I want it to be done well and quickly. I know, a tad demanding, but life can be that way.
My husband tends to be a more of a pointer. Sure, he can paint a wonderful picture with his words, but he picks his words a lot more carefully and has a point with a plan on how to get there. Keeps life interesting around here.
Neither style of communicating is "better" than the other. Just different.
What's new? I am different than my husband. I think that is a very good thing. I am sure that I drive him nuts at time with my random chatter or thoughts, but they make sense to me. Early on in the marriage I remember getting responses from him like "Now what are you talking about? You lost me."
Either style can unintentionally hurt the others feelings. I know we down play feelings, but they are part of what we carry around with us each day. I am hoping that by knowing that a pointer thinks the point is the first thing out of my mouth, like it is with them, I will try to make my words encouraging.
Hey! So I am wondering if anyone who read the last blog that I posted, if you look at yourself in the mirror and said "I am a baptized child of God. Who am I going to blessed today?" Honestly, I haven't. Well, I have said "I am a baptized child of God." But I have not asked or even thought about the "who am I going to bless today'" part.
Fail. Well, there is tomorrow.
And there is grace for us today. That is something to be thankful for!
Disclaimer: It depends on where you are and the situation.
 |
| From a trail in TN, nice picture to paint sometime... |
If you haven't guessed, I am more often a painter. It might be why I can blog about randomness and feel better for it. Yes, I try to have a point for the blog at hand, but it usually takes be a bit to get there. I have been known to be a pointer, mainly in school or some work situations where I have a task and I want it to be done well and quickly. I know, a tad demanding, but life can be that way.
 |
| A classroom worm being a "pointer". (TN) |
Neither style of communicating is "better" than the other. Just different.
What's new? I am different than my husband. I think that is a very good thing. I am sure that I drive him nuts at time with my random chatter or thoughts, but they make sense to me. Early on in the marriage I remember getting responses from him like "Now what are you talking about? You lost me."
Either style can unintentionally hurt the others feelings. I know we down play feelings, but they are part of what we carry around with us each day. I am hoping that by knowing that a pointer thinks the point is the first thing out of my mouth, like it is with them, I will try to make my words encouraging.
 |
| Nice to take time to observe all sort of things in life. (TN) |
Hey! So I am wondering if anyone who read the last blog that I posted, if you look at yourself in the mirror and said "I am a baptized child of God. Who am I going to blessed today?" Honestly, I haven't. Well, I have said "I am a baptized child of God." But I have not asked or even thought about the "who am I going to bless today'" part.
Fail. Well, there is tomorrow.
And there is grace for us today. That is something to be thankful for!
Thursday, October 31, 2013
Ramble and Retreat Reminiscing
Writing in this blog has been on my mind, at least a few times a week. Every week. If it was the thought that really count in this world, I'd being doing great, right? The challenge is in the timing. I sometimes get what seems like interesting ideas, unfortunately I am in the middle of something, like driving, and it is not a good time to try to write. And then when I get the time to write, I forget what it was going to be about or how it was interesting and not just me rambling.
Rambling can be interesting, at times, right?
Last week, my husband and I went to a "Wellness" retreat. Overall, it was a very good time. They gave us lots of info on 'wellness'. It was a bigger picture than just "eat right and make sure you work out", and I appreciated it. The part that I liked the most that they presented everything through the lens of "Old Self" and "New Self". The "old self" is our natural state, sinful and self centered nature; while the "new self" is who we are as a baptized child of God, the focus is not on the self but on a bigger picture, the body of Christ. I really liked that it was built out from each of us being " In baptism- A new creation in Christ".
Having the starting point of us understanding the "new self" (honestly, not a new concept to a group of pastors and their wives but nice to review that thought) and then using it when thinking on our lives: past, present and future. For the past, we can remember some hard times in our lives and were encouraged in those times now because Jesus was there with us. We are not alone in our bad days or heart broken moments, Christ was there. Just like He is with you today and will be there with you tomorrow.
In the present, we were encouraged to start each day by looking in the mirror and telling ourselves (with a huge smile on your face and seriously mean this:) "I am a baptized child of God! Who am I going to blessed today?" Not new to trying to be mindful of baptism.... honestly do not think about it each morning, but I know that I should. Have to say though, the second part of the quote "Who am I going to bless today?", I felt was self righteous. So I asked others about it. If the question is posed with the attitude of the "new self" then it is more about being open to God working through you to bless others for the benefit of the kingdom as a whole. I have not said "Who am I going to bless today?" in the mirror, yet. Maybe I will give it a try tomorrow.
"New self" for the future. Not really for all that far in the future, but really for future challenges. So first, I want to share how the "old self" would face a challenge. Someone viewing a situation from the view point of the "old self" would feel anxious about it and say something like "Well, look what I have to deal with now." When the "new self" is in play, challenges can still seem big, but more about curiosity for the "new self" and would likely say "How are we going to handle this?" We are not alone, so why try to take on challenges alone when we can work together. I like teams, they are a happy thing.
The best part of the whole thing was getting to spend time with some other wonderful couples and time to pray together. Prayer is something that is very powerful. And having trusted friends praying for you... well it always brings me to tears. (The good kind.) Looking forward to seeing them again.
I am a baptized child of God. For which I am very thankful.
Rambling can be interesting, at times, right?
Last week, my husband and I went to a "Wellness" retreat. Overall, it was a very good time. They gave us lots of info on 'wellness'. It was a bigger picture than just "eat right and make sure you work out", and I appreciated it. The part that I liked the most that they presented everything through the lens of "Old Self" and "New Self". The "old self" is our natural state, sinful and self centered nature; while the "new self" is who we are as a baptized child of God, the focus is not on the self but on a bigger picture, the body of Christ. I really liked that it was built out from each of us being " In baptism- A new creation in Christ".
Having the starting point of us understanding the "new self" (honestly, not a new concept to a group of pastors and their wives but nice to review that thought) and then using it when thinking on our lives: past, present and future. For the past, we can remember some hard times in our lives and were encouraged in those times now because Jesus was there with us. We are not alone in our bad days or heart broken moments, Christ was there. Just like He is with you today and will be there with you tomorrow.
In the present, we were encouraged to start each day by looking in the mirror and telling ourselves (with a huge smile on your face and seriously mean this:) "I am a baptized child of God! Who am I going to blessed today?" Not new to trying to be mindful of baptism.... honestly do not think about it each morning, but I know that I should. Have to say though, the second part of the quote "Who am I going to bless today?", I felt was self righteous. So I asked others about it. If the question is posed with the attitude of the "new self" then it is more about being open to God working through you to bless others for the benefit of the kingdom as a whole. I have not said "Who am I going to bless today?" in the mirror, yet. Maybe I will give it a try tomorrow.
"New self" for the future. Not really for all that far in the future, but really for future challenges. So first, I want to share how the "old self" would face a challenge. Someone viewing a situation from the view point of the "old self" would feel anxious about it and say something like "Well, look what I have to deal with now." When the "new self" is in play, challenges can still seem big, but more about curiosity for the "new self" and would likely say "How are we going to handle this?" We are not alone, so why try to take on challenges alone when we can work together. I like teams, they are a happy thing.
The best part of the whole thing was getting to spend time with some other wonderful couples and time to pray together. Prayer is something that is very powerful. And having trusted friends praying for you... well it always brings me to tears. (The good kind.) Looking forward to seeing them again.
I am a baptized child of God. For which I am very thankful.
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Perspective, alway developing it.
Perspective. We each have our own, right? We each can look a picture of a landscape and see it differently. Can you picture in your mind what a desert in Nevada might look like. Late afternoon sun, no trees, just sand, cacti, mountains in the distance and maybe a vulture circling in the sky. One person may look at it from their perspective and say "This place is depressing. No water for my thirst. No shade to relax in. No place to go shopping and buy a new phone, mine is like 3 years old!" And another might have a different perspective of, "Finally, I am far enough away that no one can bug me on my cellphone. I can warm up in the sun. Hey, those mountains look awesome."
It's all in the eye of the beholder... just like beauty is said to be as well.
Our little family moved recently, as you know. We did, in fact, move to an apartment that is smaller than our last one. By only 300 sq. ft. I am honestly fine with the smaller apartment. I feel as though we needed to look at all our stuff, really look at it, to see what we actually use. And donate or toss the rest. It is a long process. At least I have time to do that these days.
When I was first tell people that the new place is smaller than that of our last, I felt like they were waiting for me to be upset about the size difference. I have a feeling that might be because so many of us grew up not only having plenty of what we need but also living in a country with the current culture pushing the importance of more of the new shiny things, bigger places to live, pricier clothes and accessories. By the standards in the States, I have never been rich, so maybe I don't know what I am missing. But my perspective is different.
I have been blessed with a perspective that keeps developing a greater understanding of the world as a whole. I got a chance to see how some folks in Nicaragua live. Some do live in nice homes, not too much different that we might find here in the states. But there are many who live in what best can be described a tin shack about the size of a storage shed I one had in my back yard in NY. And not just one person living there but a whole family of four. No air conditioning or windows in a part of the world where it is often in the 90's (Fahrenheit) with humidity and dew point near that as well.
That is not anywhere close to my current living conditions. I am honestly just thankful we found affordable housing in an area where my child can go to a great school. That is just my perspective on the situation.
It would be very wrong of me not to admit that I have struggled with my perspective on different issues during different times of my life. I have, sometime greatly struggled with my perspective. Most days I am generally an enthusiastic optimist. It can be quite I annoying I bet. Like for a real life example a friend of mine was sharing with me how it seems like one crummy thing is happening after another and she is concerned about what might be coming next. It is like she is living in a storm (now this is seriously my own take on what is going on in her life) on the ocean in a boat that keeps getting pommeled by waves. She is just trying to prepare herself for the next wave to hit. I am am praying for her and the waves in her life. But this is how my optimism can be a bit annoying: Friend: I just keep wondering what will happen next. Me: Maybe a pay raise or free ice cream on Fridays? Friend: You are probably a bit to optimistic.
She is probably right. I am a bit too optimistic. There have been days in my past thought that I think that I wasn't and missed out on the good that was right in front of me. I have always had a family that loves me (even when my optimism is over the top!), I have been graced with good health, safe and clean places to
live, chance to grow and learn (in formal and informal settings). I have cleaning drinking water, clean clothes, I get to take a shower whenever I feel I need one, even with nice smelling soap! I have been blessed a loving husband and a healthy child. Even with all that I have times or days that I do feel like waves are hitting me over and over, causing me to wonder what is next and how am I going to handle it. And I get stuck looking of a wave that is bound to crash over me instead of noticing I don't have to be in the storm alone. It don't like feeling stuck like that. When I realize that it is me that is the grouchy funk, I do what I can to get out of it. Often I ask dear friends of mine to pray from me and to chat with me. It is easier to get out of a funk when there are others willing to help lift you up and help you find something that is good going on in your life. Usually that is something to be thankful.
It can be a challenge to have a positive perspective but I want that for my reality. Hope it doesn't drive everyone else crazy!
It's all in the eye of the beholder... just like beauty is said to be as well.
Our little family moved recently, as you know. We did, in fact, move to an apartment that is smaller than our last one. By only 300 sq. ft. I am honestly fine with the smaller apartment. I feel as though we needed to look at all our stuff, really look at it, to see what we actually use. And donate or toss the rest. It is a long process. At least I have time to do that these days.
When I was first tell people that the new place is smaller than that of our last, I felt like they were waiting for me to be upset about the size difference. I have a feeling that might be because so many of us grew up not only having plenty of what we need but also living in a country with the current culture pushing the importance of more of the new shiny things, bigger places to live, pricier clothes and accessories. By the standards in the States, I have never been rich, so maybe I don't know what I am missing. But my perspective is different.
 |
| A family of four sleep here. The father in one bed, the mother and children in the other. |
That is not anywhere close to my current living conditions. I am honestly just thankful we found affordable housing in an area where my child can go to a great school. That is just my perspective on the situation.
It would be very wrong of me not to admit that I have struggled with my perspective on different issues during different times of my life. I have, sometime greatly struggled with my perspective. Most days I am generally an enthusiastic optimist. It can be quite I annoying I bet. Like for a real life example a friend of mine was sharing with me how it seems like one crummy thing is happening after another and she is concerned about what might be coming next. It is like she is living in a storm (now this is seriously my own take on what is going on in her life) on the ocean in a boat that keeps getting pommeled by waves. She is just trying to prepare herself for the next wave to hit. I am am praying for her and the waves in her life. But this is how my optimism can be a bit annoying: Friend: I just keep wondering what will happen next. Me: Maybe a pay raise or free ice cream on Fridays? Friend: You are probably a bit to optimistic.
She is probably right. I am a bit too optimistic. There have been days in my past thought that I think that I wasn't and missed out on the good that was right in front of me. I have always had a family that loves me (even when my optimism is over the top!), I have been graced with good health, safe and clean places to
live, chance to grow and learn (in formal and informal settings). I have cleaning drinking water, clean clothes, I get to take a shower whenever I feel I need one, even with nice smelling soap! I have been blessed a loving husband and a healthy child. Even with all that I have times or days that I do feel like waves are hitting me over and over, causing me to wonder what is next and how am I going to handle it. And I get stuck looking of a wave that is bound to crash over me instead of noticing I don't have to be in the storm alone. It don't like feeling stuck like that. When I realize that it is me that is the grouchy funk, I do what I can to get out of it. Often I ask dear friends of mine to pray from me and to chat with me. It is easier to get out of a funk when there are others willing to help lift you up and help you find something that is good going on in your life. Usually that is something to be thankful.
It can be a challenge to have a positive perspective but I want that for my reality. Hope it doesn't drive everyone else crazy!
Monday, July 29, 2013
New Place, New Routine
Moving is weird.
Wednesday we moved everything out of our place in Nebraska, with wonderful helpers. We moved in to our new place on Friday, with some wonderful helpers here in Tennessee. It's wild how fast it all went.
We have been working on making this new place our home... one box at a time. Our cat seems to have settled in, finding all his favorite nap places as we remove boxes. He, just like our daughter, seems to be most happy with things when there is a schedule going on around our place. The cat, named Squirrel, has been a part of bedtime stories and prayers for years. Once we start reading with our daughter, Squirrel wonders in, at his own pace, and finds his place at the foot of her bed. The routine helps him to stay calm in the new place.
Moving feels odd this time. I am not feeling stressed about the move. Some of the details, like getting someone registered for school and preparing for company in a few weeks (or less), sure stresses me a bit. I can't it into words, this move is different from the others. I think that it is at least a good sort of different. Even though I still have to find "my place" in a new city and congregation, I feel like there is a place for me. And that does feel nice. Now I just wait for God to show it to me.
Maybe I should be like the cat and get a routine going for me. Maybe I will find a routine, after the boxes are unpacked, after the books are all on the shelves and the dishes in the cupboard. After school has started for our kiddo, after my husband has been officially installed and officially starts his new position, and after company has come and gone, I will find a routine. The routine will help make the new place home.
Until then, I will be embracing the chaos and find ways to make each day orderly and as much of a routine as possible.
Wednesday we moved everything out of our place in Nebraska, with wonderful helpers. We moved in to our new place on Friday, with some wonderful helpers here in Tennessee. It's wild how fast it all went.
We have been working on making this new place our home... one box at a time. Our cat seems to have settled in, finding all his favorite nap places as we remove boxes. He, just like our daughter, seems to be most happy with things when there is a schedule going on around our place. The cat, named Squirrel, has been a part of bedtime stories and prayers for years. Once we start reading with our daughter, Squirrel wonders in, at his own pace, and finds his place at the foot of her bed. The routine helps him to stay calm in the new place.
Moving feels odd this time. I am not feeling stressed about the move. Some of the details, like getting someone registered for school and preparing for company in a few weeks (or less), sure stresses me a bit. I can't it into words, this move is different from the others. I think that it is at least a good sort of different. Even though I still have to find "my place" in a new city and congregation, I feel like there is a place for me. And that does feel nice. Now I just wait for God to show it to me.
Maybe I should be like the cat and get a routine going for me. Maybe I will find a routine, after the boxes are unpacked, after the books are all on the shelves and the dishes in the cupboard. After school has started for our kiddo, after my husband has been officially installed and officially starts his new position, and after company has come and gone, I will find a routine. The routine will help make the new place home.
Until then, I will be embracing the chaos and find ways to make each day orderly and as much of a routine as possible.
Thursday, June 6, 2013
Stress. Who doesn't have any stress?
For some reason I get the feeling that spiritual people aren't supposed to be stressed. That they are supposed to always be level headed and calm in all situations, trusting God for all things.
I do feel stressed at times. And I am well aware of Bible verses that are often shared in hopes to help people to not be stressed: Be Still and know that I am God... Psalm 46:10; For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11; But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Matthew 6:30. All good verses and though they have been in my mind, it is not decreasing my indigestion.
I am not stress about material possessions, nor do I have the feeling that I have to control or manage everything. I think my my concern might relate the the Jeremiah passage that I shared. I am fine with whatever plans God has for our family, I just would like to know what that plan is.
If may help you to know that we have been considering different 'calls' (if you are not LCMS and not sure what I mean by 'call', it's like a job offer to a pastor, for our situation, that the congregation feels God has lead them to a certain man to be their pastor. Then the pastor has to determine if he feels God is calling him to serve at that congregation.) Since I have last posted (it has been a bit) my husband has received a total of three calls. He has currently turned down two of them and is still considering a third. This weekend we will visit the congregation and pray that God gives us many good clear signs on whether or not we are a fit for the congregation and if they are a fit for us.
The part that is stressful is the work that I know that I will possibly need to do at some point. It feels like a looming mountain that will be moved on top of me and I am just waiting for it. All the packing and organizing that goes with moving plus the decision itself bears down on my family. I like to have a head start on packing, so it is not stressful and as much of a crazy whirlwind when the possible moving day arrives. But on the other side, if I start gearing up for moving and we decide that God is not leading us to make this move, then I have to unpack, why do all the work to just undo it? And then if there is another call, again.... Let's not go there. I will just deal with it if/when it happens.
The root of this stress for me is about being a good wife and mother. I seem to think the more I can do, the less stressful it is for my family. There is probably some truth to it. But if I am so stressed out about it all that I am making myself ill, what good am I? Then here is what I do next, this is crazy, ready for it?? I stress out about being ill. And I am sure you can guess, it only makes me feel worse. These stresses are self imposed. I know it. It is challenging to get out of the cycle of stress and being stressed about the stress. It is a silly cycle and a sticky one.
The verses I shared earlier are good ones, even for where I am today. Though, I have found these verses most encouraging to me in the past so today I focus on it again today:
do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7
Not being anxious is
easier said than done. But by the Grace of God, it can happen. I am
trusting God for whatever comes next, whether we move or not. And may He
give me the strength to get all that I need to done to care for my
family and His peace through it all. I am thankful for God's love, grace
and peace, I would be total mess without it!
This tortoise doesn't seem to be stressed, though does carry his home with him...
For some reason I get the feeling that spiritual people aren't supposed to be stressed. That they are supposed to always be level headed and calm in all situations, trusting God for all things.
I do feel stressed at times. And I am well aware of Bible verses that are often shared in hopes to help people to not be stressed: Be Still and know that I am God... Psalm 46:10; For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11; But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Matthew 6:30. All good verses and though they have been in my mind, it is not decreasing my indigestion.
I am not stress about material possessions, nor do I have the feeling that I have to control or manage everything. I think my my concern might relate the the Jeremiah passage that I shared. I am fine with whatever plans God has for our family, I just would like to know what that plan is.
If may help you to know that we have been considering different 'calls' (if you are not LCMS and not sure what I mean by 'call', it's like a job offer to a pastor, for our situation, that the congregation feels God has lead them to a certain man to be their pastor. Then the pastor has to determine if he feels God is calling him to serve at that congregation.) Since I have last posted (it has been a bit) my husband has received a total of three calls. He has currently turned down two of them and is still considering a third. This weekend we will visit the congregation and pray that God gives us many good clear signs on whether or not we are a fit for the congregation and if they are a fit for us.
The part that is stressful is the work that I know that I will possibly need to do at some point. It feels like a looming mountain that will be moved on top of me and I am just waiting for it. All the packing and organizing that goes with moving plus the decision itself bears down on my family. I like to have a head start on packing, so it is not stressful and as much of a crazy whirlwind when the possible moving day arrives. But on the other side, if I start gearing up for moving and we decide that God is not leading us to make this move, then I have to unpack, why do all the work to just undo it? And then if there is another call, again.... Let's not go there. I will just deal with it if/when it happens.
The root of this stress for me is about being a good wife and mother. I seem to think the more I can do, the less stressful it is for my family. There is probably some truth to it. But if I am so stressed out about it all that I am making myself ill, what good am I? Then here is what I do next, this is crazy, ready for it?? I stress out about being ill. And I am sure you can guess, it only makes me feel worse. These stresses are self imposed. I know it. It is challenging to get out of the cycle of stress and being stressed about the stress. It is a silly cycle and a sticky one.
The verses I shared earlier are good ones, even for where I am today. Though, I have found these verses most encouraging to me in the past so today I focus on it again today:
do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7
This tortoise doesn't seem to be stressed, though does carry his home with him... Sunday, April 7, 2013
Friends are great blessings.
An honest to goodness friend can be hard to find. That is a struggle for anybody, right? Who is trustful and honest and who isn't sharing your personal life stories with others? Don't we all need someone we can laugh with, confide in, and can encourage us?
Yes, Jesus in my friend. I hope He finds me funny at times and laughs with me. I know that my prayers are conversations between just the two of us. (Well, meaning the Trinity and myself.) I know that the Bible is full of wonderful encouragement for all believers. I also really appreciate the friends that I can see and hear clearly. I appreciate their kind laugh at my attempts to be funny and the encouraging words and prayers. There is great value and wonderful strength in these friendships.
I love the friend that when I am having a difficult time with something pushes me to see the whole situation from another angle. I know I very easily get caught up with my own view and emotions in situations. I often forget to step back and take a moment to see the whole picture and consider different perspectives. Having a good friend to talk to that you can trust is priceless. Finding great friends like that is an act of God.
I really mean that. Finding a trustworthy friend is an act of God. Think about it. We are all sinners. We all screw up. I know I have messed a few times with being the great friend I really would like to be to my friends. I know I often get too focused on my own life and not always really hear what is going on in my friend's life. Some days it is just amazing to me that I do actually have real friends, in real life, not just my facebook 'friends'.
I think of how I have met my close friends and none of it seems like it was just thrown together and just sort of happened. Take, for example, when I met my husband (my best friend who loves even though I am not perfect!). It was the summer of 2001 at the National Youth Gathering in New Orleans. It was a trip that I was an alternate for and so was my husband for different groups. He lived in Michigan and I lived in Colorado and we met in New Orleans in a convention center at a gathering of about 30,000 people. I was there with some people that he knew and so we met when he was looking to say 'hi' to some of his friends. I really have a hard time seeing all that and saying that we met by chance. I really believe that it was part of a bigger plan.
I never know what is next in this life, but I am thankful that God has encouraged us to be together in His name (Matthew 18:20). Everyone faces struggles in life. Leaning on and trusting in God and His plans, though it can be difficult to do, is what works best in the end. Leaning on friends who will pray for you, being encouraged and being able to encourage others is an amazing blessing. Thursday, April 4, 2013
The Call (really as a summary or overview)
There are difficult parts to being a Pastor's wife. Some vary depending on the situations, they can be very personal depending on the situations. But one situation is a common struggle for many. The Call and the call process. It can be so draining and exciting at the same time.
As an overview:
It's hard because both places, where we are and where is calling my husband, have a need. Both have great people (I strongly believe there nice people everywhere, sometimes we just have to look harder to find them). Both have different draws to live in the communities.
In the end it is not my call, so it is not my decision. Don't worry, my husband clearly knows my thoughts. And as our daughter gets older she does get to share her thoughts on it as well. My husband is intentional to ask her what she thinks about it. In the end thought the decision is between him and God. My husband knows whatever his decision he has my support (yes, even if it is different than what my opinion/thought was).
I hope that helped explained a difficult process . Having some understanding of the process might help with having some understanding of my life.
There are difficult parts to being a Pastor's wife. Some vary depending on the situations, they can be very personal depending on the situations. But one situation is a common struggle for many. The Call and the call process. It can be so draining and exciting at the same time.
As an overview:
It is called a "call" because it is about God calling some to serve in a place and to minister to people in that place.
Call process (as I know it in the LCMS) most shorten way
possible to explain.
1.
Congregation has a need (most times pastor but
can be for many other roles like DCE, music director, teachers in a school, ect).
2. Congregation forms a ‘call committee ‘.
3. The call committee gets a list of names from
those in the congregation that know of possible pastors (we will go with pastors since I
know about them the most) and a list from their district
office that the districts have shared with each other.
4. Call committee goes through piles of information
about the pastors. Often trying to narrow the list down.
5. Call committee can contact and interview pastors
on their list. They can narrow the list down again through this process.
6. Call committee presents what they have learned
about the pastors and give the names and information over to the congregation.
(The committee sometimes suggests who they think will fit the congregation best.
7. Congregation votes, and then extends a call.
8.
Pastor learns he is extended the call then
wrestles with the decision through prayer.
9.
Pastor can either accept or decline the call. If
declined the congregation can go back to the list they already have or start the whole process over.
It's hard because both places, where we are and where is calling my husband, have a need. Both have great people (I strongly believe there nice people everywhere, sometimes we just have to look harder to find them). Both have different draws to live in the communities.
In the end it is not my call, so it is not my decision. Don't worry, my husband clearly knows my thoughts. And as our daughter gets older she does get to share her thoughts on it as well. My husband is intentional to ask her what she thinks about it. In the end thought the decision is between him and God. My husband knows whatever his decision he has my support (yes, even if it is different than what my opinion/thought was).
I hope that helped explained a difficult process . Having some understanding of the process might help with having some understanding of my life.
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Hi.
I enjoy sharing my thoughts and opinions, who doesn't. So, Blogging might be a fun way to do it. Like keeping a public journal... I will just try to be more careful what I say!
I am married to a man who is called to be a Lutheran Pastor. (I will share more of what that really means later.) I am sorry to disappoint many but I cannot play the piano, sing solos (at least not in public), lead choirs or read music. Here's another shocker, I do not hear my husband's sermon's before any else. I do not help him develop them or tweak, or proof them. He is the one who went to Seminary and does all the work to get them together. I think he does a nice job with them. But I might be a bit biased.
Here's another shocker for many, my husband does not 'control' me. He does not 'make me' do certain activities in a congregation. Sure, he does ask me if I might help with something. I can tell him 'no', and he it okay with it. He has been supportive when I want to try various jobs, in or outside the congregation, including taking college courses. So I am married to a rather nice guy.
I am not perfect. I can only think of one person in all of history that is. (Hint: Jesus.)
I do not know how much of this image that a pastor's wife needs to be 'perfect', meaning always friendly and happy with knowing the right way or best way to do everything is self imposed or imposed by others. Why is there an expectation for me to play the piano/keyboard and sing solos?
There many situations that I am expected to handle with perfect gracefulness, and I sometimes feel fail in those times. This blog might be a good place to talk about those as they come along.... There are some thank you notes that I have not written for an event I attended in January. (That didn't take me long to think of something, did it?)
I am also a mom. Not a perfect one, but I do the best that I can what God has given me. As a mom it would be almost impossible not to bring up how fun and adorable my child is. So for those that might read this blog, they might have to endure cute little stories about how great (not perfect, she is not Jesus) my child is.
As a not so perfect person, I am thankful for husband, and would feel thankful for him no matter what his calling/job title might be. I am thankful for my child. And I am thankful for my not so musical talents. (I do enjoy music.) Most of all, I am thankful the love a God who is perfect, that loves me even though I am not. And the grace that is given through Christ. I am thankful that Jesus lived a perfect life that I cannot. This time of year I am reminded of all that he suffered for my short comings. And most of all that Jesus conquered it all on Easter (that celebration is coming next week!), not just for me but for all the not so perfect people of this world.
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