For some reason I get the feeling that spiritual people aren't supposed to be stressed. That they are supposed to always be level headed and calm in all situations, trusting God for all things.
I do feel stressed at times. And I am well aware of Bible verses that are often shared in hopes to help people to not be stressed: Be Still and know that I am God... Psalm 46:10; For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11; But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Matthew 6:30. All good verses and though they have been in my mind, it is not decreasing my indigestion.
I am not stress about material possessions, nor do I have the feeling that I have to control or manage everything. I think my my concern might relate the the Jeremiah passage that I shared. I am fine with whatever plans God has for our family, I just would like to know what that plan is.
If may help you to know that we have been considering different 'calls' (if you are not LCMS and not sure what I mean by 'call', it's like a job offer to a pastor, for our situation, that the congregation feels God has lead them to a certain man to be their pastor. Then the pastor has to determine if he feels God is calling him to serve at that congregation.) Since I have last posted (it has been a bit) my husband has received a total of three calls. He has currently turned down two of them and is still considering a third. This weekend we will visit the congregation and pray that God gives us many good clear signs on whether or not we are a fit for the congregation and if they are a fit for us.
The part that is stressful is the work that I know that I will possibly need to do at some point. It feels like a looming mountain that will be moved on top of me and I am just waiting for it. All the packing and organizing that goes with moving plus the decision itself bears down on my family. I like to have a head start on packing, so it is not stressful and as much of a crazy whirlwind when the possible moving day arrives. But on the other side, if I start gearing up for moving and we decide that God is not leading us to make this move, then I have to unpack, why do all the work to just undo it? And then if there is another call, again.... Let's not go there. I will just deal with it if/when it happens.
The root of this stress for me is about being a good wife and mother. I seem to think the more I can do, the less stressful it is for my family. There is probably some truth to it. But if I am so stressed out about it all that I am making myself ill, what good am I? Then here is what I do next, this is crazy, ready for it?? I stress out about being ill. And I am sure you can guess, it only makes me feel worse. These stresses are self imposed. I know it. It is challenging to get out of the cycle of stress and being stressed about the stress. It is a silly cycle and a sticky one.
The verses I shared earlier are good ones, even for where I am today. Though, I have found these verses most encouraging to me in the past so today I focus on it again today:
do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7
This tortoise doesn't seem to be stressed, though does carry his home with him... 