Tuesday, September 1, 2015

A tired mom.

I do not feel like 'blogging'. I am tired, I am drained, I feel blue. I do not feel like having deep thoughts about life. I am more inclined to turn the TV on and slowly tidy things up, so less is waiting for me in the morning. 

Today I rather talk about being a full-time mom/homemaker/whatever else fits here, because that is what I am. A mom. I understand that this position is a choice, just like being a work outside the home parent and having daycare. Neither is better than the other. That is not what this is about. This is more about how today, or the last few days really, my role has been challenging. Everyone has challenges, right? Even if you are not a parent, there are challenging days in your life.

I am an extrovert, meaning I feel more energized after spending time with people. I can energize with quiet time, alone, but it is not the same. Being home full-time means that I have to be intentional about looking for ways to spend with people big enough to talk. And I really prefer to do it outside of our home. I am there all day and I see the chores or projects that need to be done. Given the option, I rather go out of these walls. If the day is nice, please let me meet people outside!

These last few days have been challenging because our youngest has not been feeling great so we have needed to be home as much as possible. And we have been, except to go to the doctor or get medicine. Having a young sick child that cannot say "hey, this hurts" or "I am uncomfortable here" rather they just scream is draining to any caring adult. So' how I feel makes sense, right? Others have been here, I know they have. And have made it through. Things are getting better for out little one today. For that I am thankful.

Life is going on wit plenty to do and I have chosen to write/blog. I am doing this because it is the evening that I have said I would do it. I am working on starting a pattern. Life has a lot of patterns. Bet everyone has a pattern or a routine in which they get ready, do chores, pay bills, pack for a trip. Adding something to a pattern or routine can be a challenge. There will be times when it is easy to say "Well, I don't have to do that." or "I am too tired". But the problem is that when you are trying to set a new pattern and you stop doing it, starting it back up is even more difficult.

There are plenty of patterns in the Bible. One that easily comes to mind is having a day of rest. (Ha! As a mom of a young child, there is not a day I would describe as that! It might happen in a few years.) God created for the first six days then on the seventh he rested and it was good. That doesn't mean He never worked again. He rested and then the Bible talks about other days and ways God worked throughout the whole Bible. Setting and having a pattern of working and resting sounds great. But how many of us do it? What can it look like? Will it always happen when, where and how we want it to?

I missed worship time this week because of our little one's illness. (A understandable reason.) My weekly pattern is thrown off and I feel it. I need worship time, just as much as I need rest time, work time, workout time and lunch time.  So I am going to keep the pattern and write tonight, even if I do not feel like it. The pattern may be good for me.  If nothing else, typing is a bit like talking, I can ramble in either medium.

Blessings!